Just a passing thought as I went through old forwards about
friendship and love and blah blah. And that thought from the millions teeming
in space got me thinking.
Somehow age has caught up. Most of my life I've been
a gypsy at heart but as time passed and bills increased and possessions
accumulated, there was no choice but to start taking root someplace. And that
was the beginning of the end. An end to the spontaneous adventure called life.
Now it’s all about making it to the school bus on time, paying bills, grocery
shopping and TV dinners. And in the scramble to get all this done, slowly the
dreams have faded into an indistinct blur. Somewhere, the person that was
supposed to be and the person that I am today are as different as chalk and
cheese.
In the last two years since I've been a stay-at-home mom, it’s mostly
been about everyone else. I thought I would get some time to just be. Well that
remained what it was, just a thought. The last couple of years have been a
flurry of tending to sickness, dealing with moving homes, not once but twice,
deaths of two parents, one kids’ all important public exam.
With so much
happening, I sort of sent my feelings to some place far behind, always thinking
that I would get back to it when I had less to deal with. And that day has
never really come. I bit my tongue and withheld nasty retorts and put my
desires aside to accommodate the family’s demands. And somewhere in all this, I've forgotten who I am.
